Hello and Welcome Back
Can you resonate with Busy – Hurried – Overwhelmed, if so let me encourage you to read on if you would like to get out of this state, let me tell you it is worth the read 🙂
In my last newsletter I shared that we would look at ‘finishing well’ and I told you about marathons in ancient Greece. When we are in that state of busyness and hurrying from one thing to the other, it certainly feels like a marathon that does not finish.
A quick reminder of that race, in marathons in ancient Greece, a torch was handed to each runner at the starting line. To win, a runner had to cross the finish line with their torch still burning. The torch race was a tough one which led through mountains and valleys. Doubtless there were times when others would pass the winning runner by, when their strength would fail, when they lost their way or stumbled, when they had to retrace their steps to get back on track. But what counted in this race was not the style, but the staying power. Excerpt from Remarkable You – A Journey to Discover HOPE Within
So what is this ‘staying power’ that lead us to finish well in these tough times?
As I thought into this, what came to mind is the ‘busy and hurried’ state of mind we get into trying to get everything done. We can also exchange the word hurried for overwhelmed because as we become more frantic with hurry the overwhelmed hits us and can hit us hard.
Reflection: Are you so busy that you are neglecting the important things in life? What are you sacrificing on the altar of busyness?
Food for thought
One of Merriam Webster’s definitions of busy is “full of activity : and it is easy to be active without getting much done. It’s fuelled by a culture that values perception over reality. English Language Learners
Definition of hurried: “happening or done very quickly or too quickly” working very quickly or too quickly.
There is nothing inherently wrong with work or working hard to achieve your goals. In fact it is essential in some areas of business, and as we know there are seasons to plant and seasons to reap, but there is something wrong with elevating work and perceived productivity above all else.
Busy can elicit empathy from others. Saying we are busy is like a direct line to empathy. People automatically identify with the overload that comes from being overworked. And let’s face it—we all like it when people understand our plight. Something about it just feels good, and when something feels good, we do it again.
Unfortunately, empathy doesn’t help us get past being busy. Empathy actually reinforces that mental state and allows us to feel okay with being that way.
Here is an exchange you will recognise:
“How’s your project going?”
“Well, I’m not as far as I wanted to be—I’ve been so busy.” “Gotcha. Thanks for the update.”
Busy is a pretty effective excuse. When we say we are busy, others often don’t ask a follow- up question. They take our “busy” at face value, which allows us to avoid any further, potentially unpleasant conversations.
We all have a to-do list, and for many of us, it feels never ending. We look at our too-long to-do list and tell ourselves that more things aren’t crossed off the list because it’s simply too long! We tell ourselves we wouldn’t have so much to do if only we didn’t have so much to do!
As a result, we continue building our list of things to do while simultaneously building our ongoing justification for not getting those things done. That argument seems ridiculous, but sadly true. I wonder if we each have a ‘not to do list’ – actually take things off our list?
Our goal is not to be busy. It’s to be effective.
John Maxwell likes to say that activity is not the same as accomplishment, and movement does not equal momentum. When we focus on activity, we can be busy. But when we focus on accomplishment we are more effective, activity matters far less.
As leaders and remember we are all leaders as we master self-leadership, it’s important to constantly ask ourselves “Is this the best use of my time?
Let’s compare some differences between busyness and hurry.
Busyness is having a lot of meetings on your calendar.
Hurry is scheduling those meetings back-to-back forcing you to sprint from one to the next without enough time to think or even go to the bathroom.
Busyness is having a lot of errands to run.
Hurry is getting mad about choosing the “wrong line” at the grocery store because you have no margin for the thirty seconds you lost by choosing lane 3 instead of 4. – I must admit I have done that!
There is a difference between simply being busy and being hurried:
Being busy is about the things you have to do.
Being hurried is the spiritual, mental, and emotional state that you are in when trying to do the things you have to do.
You can be busy without being hurried, Darrin Patrick says “Hurriedness is like a strong wind that blows on the waters of your heart. If the waves are too high, you forget about others and focus on your own survival, making compassion toward others impossible.”
There are a number of distinctions I see between hurried and busy. The first distinction is that busy is something that is outside of our hearts and souls. We have places to go, people to see and problems to address. Those are very real, but those are not “us”.
Hurriedness, on the other hand, is very personal and internal. It is a sense or motive for how we approach those people, places and things to do
Reflection: As you pay attention to what happens to your “internal clock” when busy times hit and turns to hurry, do you see the difference between the two?
When I am in that hurried state of mind it’s like my internal engine is revving – I have to pause right then and there and listen for the “idle of my internal engine”.
What if we slow down by taking a moment to pause and take a breath?
Reflection: How do you feel when that sense of busy takes over and turns to hurry, is there a change in your heart rate etc? If you have noticed this, what do you do, how do you counteract this?
A second distinction to note is how hurriedness can produce a sense of isolation in us. We become so preoccupied with our “stuff” that we race past the important people in our lives.
By losing that precious sense, we are soon running on our own strength and limited resources. This leads to a certain sense of doom and panic because we know we are going to “run out”. Dallas Willard says, “Hurry is the great enemy of spiritual life in our day because it will keep you from experiencing God’s goodness and care for you from one moment to the next.”
This can also happen with the people in our lives. We push away family and friends because we are “so busy”, but in doing so we are isolating ourselves and allowing hurry to set the pace.
Reflection: When you feel the stress rising because of the pressure of all the things you have to get done, how do you slow down, from the hurriedness?
If you would like to finish this year well and prepare for what lays ahead next year, it’s important to consider self-care in the midst of the busyness.
Is it healthy, or even effective, to work through our lunches and give up nutrition, work through our nights and give up our sleep, put our bodies and minds last on the list all in the name of success?
Science actually says no, that
our brains crave rest, time to process information and simply relax
we become distracted or unable to concentrate and focus and
our bodies rebel and we end up getting sick, needing substantial time to recuperate.
It may seem counter-intuitive, but our hurry may be doing more harm than good to our productivity.
Research on the subject has been covered by countless institutions such as:
“Idleness is not just a vacation, an indulgence or a vice; it is as indispensable to the brain as vitamin D is to the body,” writes Tim Kreider of the New York Times.
“Downtime replenishes the brain’s stores of attention and motivation, encourages productivity and creativity, and is essential to both achieve our highest levels of performance and simply form stable memories in everyday life.” says Ferris Jabr of Scientific American.
In her book The Sleep Revolution, Arianna Huffington goes as far to say we are in a sleep deprivation crisis; “our cultural dismissal of sleep as time wasted compromises our health and our decision-making and undermines our work lives and personal lives.”
Self-care is about listening to our minds and bodies and giving ourselves what we need to be healthy and happy.
You do not need to throw that out the window to achieve your business and financial goals – in fact, you may hurting yourself and your productivity by keeping yourself constantly busy.
Choosing to take a day off is not laziness, it is crucial to the sustainability of your career and family
There is a time to do nothing to relax. Finding time for yourself to be still, walk, or simply zone out is not a waste of time, it is a necessity for your brain
Also finding time to do nothing to reflect – to pull away to rest with purpose so we can think clearly
Rest, nutrition, downtime and sleep must become part of our hurry, prioritised on our to-do list
Resting our bodies to maximise our minds.
Let’s reject cultural standards that put our health at risk, end the glorification of busyness and embrace the science of self-care and rest so we can finish well!
In her book One Thousand Gifts, Ann Voskamp says “In our rushing, like bulls in china shops, we break our own lives.”
I believe in you and want you to take time to care for yourself!
Love Wendy
Next Letter – I will be sharing on my favourite word HOPE
Here’s a little preview:
Hope is what causes us to think, ‘we can get through this and we can do greater things.’ It keeps us going during the most difficult times of life and is one of the most amazing gifts we can give to others. It has the power to transform what we believe and expect. “Hope sees the invisible, feels the intangible and achieves the impossible” (Helen Keller).
