“Do not judge me by my success, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.” – Nelson Mandela
This quote is a great reminder as we all take the journey to become more resilient.
This topic is a little longer as this is a big subject, so well worth the few minutes it will take you to read 
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Resilience is the process of growing stronger through overcoming the adversities and difficulties we face. When we take that adversity and work to grow through it and not just go through it, we are taking the steps required to become resilient.
When we are resilient, we can survive change, hardships, and even tragedy. We look for opportunities to become better rather than bitter. When we think of someone who is resilient, we may be quick to imagine a person who is determined, courageous and confident. A person with the guts to get back up when knocked down.
Truth is, bad things happen – but it’s what we do with those experiences that defines who we become. No one likes bad experiences – but they are part of everyone’s life experience in some form. Some will be worse than others. When we face the most challenging situations in life, especially life changing circumstances, the action we take in those moments will define us.
The more responsibility people take for their own actions and choices, the more resilient they are likely to be. The less responsibility people take – for their actions, for their lives, for their choices – the more likely it is that life will be difficult.
So often you cannot change the circumstances that you face – but you change how you react to the circumstances. You may not be responsible, but you are response-able. And it’s the ability to choose your response that will likely determine your destiny.
There are some people who are more naturally resilient than others, but we can all take steps to strengthen our resolve. True resilience comes from our perspective of how we look at challenging situations, of course some will be worse than others. What we believe is what we become.
Sometimes we need to tell ourselves what to think, when our mind starts telling us things that we don’t need to hear. Our viewpoint on life is what helps us deal with change and difficulties. When we are
open to possibilities and focus on the what we can do, and not what we can’t do.
Another key ingredient in resilience is hope. Hope is a necessary ingredient in resilience. If we have no hope, we have no reason to hold on when things get hard. We’ll find it difficult to bounce back once we’ve been knocked down.
The choice to hope that something good will happen, the choice to move forward when we don’t know exactly why or how we should do it, is what makes us resilient. Hope is hanging on with expectations that life can be better – remember The Power of Choice!
• Talk it through with someone who is supporting you – When you talk about your reaction to a situation, it allows you to understand your emotions, behaviours and habits. This gives you space to come up with ways to work through your struggles.
• Reflect. Using a journal to write about what you’re going through and your reaction to the situation will help you to name your feelings and thinking. The more you understand your emotions and habits, the easier it will be to come up with ways to deal with your struggles.
• Be responsible with your emotions. Those who are more self-reliant tend to withdraw, suppressing their anxieties and emotions. When you ignore these things, you are not getting
rid of your problems – you are living in them. Be honest with yourself and seek connection with others so you can overcome difficulties rather than put them off.
• Everything Worthwhile is Uphill – we are not given an overcoming life; we are given life as we overcome. It is the wrong perspective to think that life should be easy—life is anything but easy! However, if we are willing to do the hard things, they compound in value over time to create a life we could have never imagined.
• Allow Adversity to Help You Discover Who You Really Are – Part of that Big Picture is that we still have control over who we are and who we become, even during crisis. Challenging times can become the seedbed for personal growth if we will fight against our tendency to take the path of least resistance, and instead choose the path of personal growth.
• Today Matters— Challenges are often filled with fear about tomorrow, so it’s important that you turn your attention to what you can control: Which is TODAY…Everyday day: o choose the right attitude,
- act on the right priorities,
- follow healthy guidelines,
- care for yourself – be kind to you,
- care for those you love,
- practice good thinking,
- invest in solid relationships,
- model generosity,
- live good values, and seek improvement
• If you will do these things daily, you will see the compounding results tomorrow and every day afterward. • Prioritise your well-being. Eat healthy, get lots of sleep and make time for activities that are physically or mentally
nurturing for you, such as exercising, reading a book or spending time with someone you enjoy.
• Hold onto hope. It doesn’t always make sense to keep hoping. Sometimes it seems like nothing is going right. When this happens, take the time to think on what is important to you or what you are working toward. Opening your mind to possibilities, gives your brain creative space to develop a solution. It is better to cling to hope than to fall to despair. Even when you feel you have no control over a situation, the choice to hope will always make you stronger.
